The Gift of Motherhood

Okay this is something that has been heavy on my heart lately. I have been suppressing the urge to post about it on my Facebook page for a bit. I've seen some very sad posts lately in my newsfeed about pregnancy, birth, adoptions and the such and I just want to share that there are always 2 sides to every story.
Many of you know that my boys are adopted. We tried for 7 years to get pregnant without a single ovulation- not a single chance that we would ever carry our genetically-linked child into this world. Did this make me sad? YES- sad is an understatement- I was devastated. It is the one most natural thing your body, as a woman, is meant to do, and when it doesn't do it, it's hard to understand and accept why. Until April 4, 2003 when I met my children for the first time. I knew in that first moment that THEY were who we had been waiting for all those years. <3
Now to some adoption my be an "easy way out" for a mom with an unplanned pregnancy, or they may see it as the birthmother "giving up" a child, but here's how I view adoption: The birthmother (or birthparents) are essentially giving the child that they are carrying the life that they know they wouldn't be able to provide for them. They are giving that child the opportunity to have 2 loving parents, siblings, love (more love than they may know what to do with), the opportunity to grow and flourish without struggle. Is this the case for all adoptions? I'm sure it's not- but in some cases the birthparents aren't ready to be parents and they couldn't bring themselves to have an abortion, so they carry the baby to term- they aren't ready to give up their life for the life of the child so they place them for adoption. This is an extremely hard choice for the birthmother/parents to make. But in making this decision they are helping a family who otherwise wouldn't have gotten the chance to become a family. I promise you that adoptive parents pray just as hard for these babies as those who pray for them to be kept. Sometimes adoptive parents wait years to be matched with a birth family, after being scrutinized by an adoption agency as to their fitness to be a family (while anyone who can get pregnant can have & keep a baby without a second thought). Sometimes there's a match made and the adoptive family prepares to welcome this baby into their home, fall in love with the unborn child only to have their dreams shattered when a birth mother decides at birth to keep the baby. Sometimes adoptive families bring the baby home only to be sued later by the birth family to take the child back. Failed adoptions happen- and are devastating to the family. Sometimes the children who are kept by the birth family end up in the state systems for various reasons, which can in turn have horrible effects on the child that may last in to adulthood.
While not everyone has the views of adoption that I do (I suppose you'd have to go through this to understand it?) A little bit of compassion should be given when you negatively speak of adoption. Without Adoption I would have never had the chance to be a mother. Without adoption my children would be wards of the state living in foster care. Without Adoption my husband would never have had the life he had. Without adoption many of my friends wouldn't have had children. Without adoption I wouldn't have a niece. Without adoption I may not have a nephew some day. Adoption may not be right for everyone or even "normal" but in our family it is more normal than pregnancy~ remember that the next time you want to think it's an awful thing. This is my Truth, and my life. <3

Conquering Fears?

So I know I wrote about some fears I have not too long ago BUT on Wednesday I reached my first step in conquering one of them! Remember that box that I told you I was afraid of in the gym?? Well I was able on Wednesday to get what I will call an "almost" successful jump- I got up but my feet didn't get all the way up so as soon as I was up I was right back down..

Today we were setting up our final workout of boot camp and one of the things on the board was to do burpee-boxjumps which is where you do a burpee (if you don't know what that is- google it..lol) then jump up on the box. One of the girls in my class was placing boxes for everyone (she's a sweetie!!) and I turned around and just jumped up- right up there like I was supposed to be up there.. then I tried again and I fell- backwards where I couldn't catch myself from falling (felt to me like slow motion) and didn't stop falling til I got to the wall- one of the coaches had this panicked look on his face and I just kept saying I'm good I'm good! LOL BUT then we started the workout and I started jumping up there like I'd always been doing it! I was still a little shaky and not getting good foot placement but my coach told me I was too far away and once I got closer I was up there hitting the middle of the box each time- I'm sure they weren't the prettiest box jumps ever, BUT I do know that I most likely looked like this girl- minus the shin slam- (PS why is she wearing flip flops to jump??)
http://youtu.be/Tm475nhXFn4
So that's one fear conquered.. now to make them prettier and where I can do more at one time- I did about 10 today :D

Who made Mother Nature so mad??

I'm not quite sure who pissed off Mother Nature, but frankly they need to apologize!
First let me explain a few things- I do not mind cold when I live somewhere that is cold. I am NOT by any means a hot-weather loving gal. I prefer the cold. That being said I think it is fine time that it warm up a bit. I say this for 2 reasons:
1. NO MORE SNEAUX DAYS!! (Yes that's how they spell S-N-O-W in Louisiana.. don't ask) Our kids have already missed I think 6 days? This friday was supposed to be a holiday but now is a school day.
2. NO MORE SNEAUX DAYS!!! LOL when we have sneaux days the box is closed (the box is the gym) and I hate missing workouts :( I have very little self-motivation to do a workout at home!
It's not just Louisiana that is taking a hit. But since I live here that's what I will tell you about lol. Tonight during dinner it started with some thunder then heavy rain and now they are expecting some ice to start soon!!
Here's what our radar looks like now:

And here is what we are expecting in just a little while:

I'm not sure I ever mentioned this before but we've lived at this same post twice. When we were here the first time waaaaaay back in 1997 we had a terrible ice storm- I'm hoping that this one is not anything like that one!! Back then we lost power, trees there was ice on everything and every where!
The bad thing about the winter weather here is that Louisiana is not equipped to handle this weather in long bursts- usually they get a cold snap for a couple of days and then it warms back up but this year it seems like mother nature is putting us into a deep-freeze. It really makes me miss living up north- at least there you expect it and when you hit 40 degrees it feels so warm!!
How's the weather where you live?? <3

Goin' on a trip!!

So Remember when I said I had a trip coming up that I was going to get to see my team of girls from my business?? Well that trip was this last weekend. I packed a suitcase and went to the airport and flew all the way up to Cleveland, Ohio! The local airport here is tiny (only has 4 gates) and is a very peaceful airport- you come in check in, drop your bag go upstairs have a cup of coffee or snack at the little restaurant/bar go thru security and relax a bit til it's time to go. It's come a long way since the mid 1990's when I flew into this same airport to report to post as my first duty station. Back then it was just a white concrete building with a help desk, a taxi stand and I believe a 1-toilet restroom. I was from a small town- but this shocked me! Now it's a beautiful plantation-esque (or maybe it's grecian lol) building made of brick with some columns. Very nice improvements!!

Anywho- I flew from this quiet airport to Atlanta (Home of CHAOS) and had to deal with zillions of people (I stand completely by that number) who were rushing from one plane to the other, I on the other hand had a 2 hour layover to figure out what to do in... I found my new gate (after having to change terminals-anyone whose been to Atlanta knows what a pain this is) got myself a snack and waited for my next flight. As I flew further north I began to notice snow on the ground. I've never flown somewhere that had snow!! I've lived there but never flown in/out when there was snow on the ground- I wondered how this would impact landing!! (YAY something else to be anxious about)

But I made it into Cleveland and waited for my team to pick me up/luggage to come out of the baggage claim and got to spend time with my gals on Friday night. We went to dinner together and then back to our hotel to get ready for our mini-convention the next morning! We had a GREAT time Learned some AMAZING things and best of all got to spend lots of time together!!
When we woke up on Sunday morning it was snowing in Cleveland.. not hard, but a good steady snow! When we got downstairs to get ready to go to the airport the sidewalk in front of our hotel was a slushy mess- we loaded the car up and headed to the airport. I've decided that the state of Ohio doesn't have a single snow plow.. or if they do they are invisible- because in the entire trip to the airport I didn't see a single one.. In New York you see one every 5 minutes when it's snowing! Anyhow- made it to the airport and got checked in and went to my gate- where to my HORROR I saw this:

I knew there was a runway out there.. somewhere.. right? (OH and I think I found all of Ohio's plows.. they were at the airport).. GAH. If you have anxiety about anything this is sure to help trigger it. So I had some time to kill so I went and had some grilled chicken and a glass of wine at one of the restaurants in the airport- the wine helped.. a LOT! When our plane came in it was snowing a little less but was still snowing- but you could kind of see the runway out there- see?

.. well okay maybe not.. BUT at least I knew there was a runway somewhere that this plane had come in on! They let all the passengers off, cleaned and reset the plane and we boarded. We were at the gate for FOREVER past our take off time when the pilot announced we had to be de-iced.. GAH.. it was as bad as I thought it was!! I've never been de-iced before- wasn't even sure how they do that- but we taxied up to a "holding area" that was the de-icing lane- kind of like a car wash line. There were 2 planes that I could see out my window and I'm sure a couple more on the other side. This truck drove over with a weird cab on top of it and these weird spraying nozzles- and the guy up in the cab was driving the truck from up there (swear it's true- freaky but true)

And then they started spraying the plane with this orange-thick fluid! The whole plane was covered in it- I watched as this ooze flowed over my window in horror- but hoping and praying that this stuff is going to keep our plane from freezing up!!

And guess what?? It worked- we got up in the air and I made it from Cleveland, back to Atlanta with only a minor delay- BUT now my 1 hour 1 minute layover was just a 40 minute layover and I had to change terminals AGAIN.. so I hit the ground RUNNING in Atlanta- true story- okay well I ran down the escalator to the train doors and then back from the train to the gate to be safe- and I made it with just enough time to go potty and get a drink! YAY!
We got boarded and I was next to a man eating french fries.. seriously dude? Anyway- outside my window I watched the world of Atlanta get smaller and I took some time to read a book- I looked up at just the right time to realize we were crossing the Mighty Mississippi River! So amazing!

and then I noticed that there was this weird pattern on my window- kind of like a star or an angel.. was pretty neat to see it- check it out:

When we landed I was so appreciative of the quiet, peaceful airport here- It was so easy- no one was fighting to get to their connecting gates, no one was rushing for anywhere but a bathroom. I got into my car and I drove myself HOME.. it's good to be HOME.. I love to travel but I always LOVE coming HOME..

Do you ever have crazy travel stories? <3

Customer Service

Okay so it's not a secret that I run a business. In my business I strive to provide my customers with good (if not excellent) customer service. I go out of my way most of the time to ensure they are happy.
BUT lately I have had a string of bad customer service situations with other businesses. When you provide me with less than good service, I tend not to recommend you to my friends, customers and general public. When you provide me with horrible service I tend to make sure everyone knows how bad it was. Not to try to hurt your business, but rather to help my friends from having the same experience.
I always try to give the benefit of the doubt- is there a possible reason why your service is terrible? If its justifiable or understandable then I don't get upset, but when there is NO GOOD REASON, then I of course get upset. If you lie to me, that's even worse. It's better to tell the truth in all situations. Case in point: Not long after moving to Louisiana I took my car to the dealership to get an oil change. I got there and they said it would be about 45 minutes- no problem, settled into the waiting area with my son and we waited. About 20 minutes go by and the service advisor comes in, my first thought was "Wow, that's awesome!!" thinking they were done- but he came in to tell me that when they went to torque my oil plug open that the threads came out of the oil pan.. say what? He had a quote for a new oil pan in hand and told me I couldn't leave with my car.. say what again? He told me to call a rental agency and get a rental and that my car would be ready in 2-3 days if I could just sign this page- the estimate for the new oil pan.. one that they just broke? Hold up- you just broke my car and want me to pay to fix it? I think at that moment I lost my ever loving mind. See I have religiously maintained my 10 year old car at the dealer only. I have always had a great relationship with the service department in each of the places I've lived since buying this car. And I've NEVER heard of oil plug threads coming out of the oil pan.. So I told him to hold up- I want my car on the lift and I want you to show me what is wrong with it- he looked at me in shock and disbelief.. see, my dad is a mechanic, our first dealership where we bought the car used to put it on the lift and show you the underside if there was a problem, come to think of it, they all have.. He told me that safety rules prohibit that.. I said you better go ask someone else- and I walked outside and called my dealer in New York- they said that the stripped oil pans are a result of not using a standard wrench to remove the plug but rather using a torque wrench- which at this point the new dealership was saying they didn't use.. (LIE). So the service advisor went and got the service manager- and at this point I was quite loud and crying (crying because I was angry) and I told him to put my car on the lift and show me what was wrong with it. I also told him that I've never been told I had to get a rental car when getting my car fixed at any other dealership and that I've always been given a loaner. He told me that they charge people for their loaners.. SERIOUSLY?? I told him that was NOT acceptable. I drove an hour to get to this dealership (closest to me) so that I could get my car into a dealership service not just a walmart oil change. At this point I was ready to just get my car towed home I was that upset. Finally he came in and told me that he'd "Give" me a loaner car but that I'd have to pay to get the oil pan fixed. I said fine- Fix it- 3 days later when they called to say it was ready when i got there the FIRST thing I did was lay on my back and crawl under my car to ensure that the oil pan on my car was indeed new. As I paid, the lady in the cash cage asked to schedule my next appointment and I said, "I'm sorry I won't be back. The customer service here is lacking in so many ways in the service department" She apologized but didn't look surprised. What would they have had to do to make me believe they cared bout customer service? Possibly owned up to the fact that they broke the oil pan and they replaced it free of charge? Maybe just be nicer about the whole situation instead of acting like I broke my car. Who knows. All I know is that I'm due for another oil change here soon and I am looking for a new dealership to go to!

Have you ever had horrible Customer Service?? What happened?? How'd it resolve??
<3

It's February!!

Oh my goodness- where have I been the last few days?? To be honest, barely near a computer except for brief moments here and there. It's been a chaotic last few days! I thrive on the chaos though because time moves faster the busier you are! My poor dogs have spent more time crated in the past 3 days than they have in a long time! :(
BUT the good news is that it's now February! Most people are getting ready for the super bowl today.. not me. I'm not a foot ball fan. My kids want to watch it, I'll let them but I am keeping that TV off as long as possible.. lol Today I'm more focused on laundry, house cleaning and getting all my business affairs in order from January (I know it's february but still working on some January things! PLUS I'm expecting several deliveries early this week! GAH!
I made myself some homemade spaghetti sauce this morning and it's simmering on the stove now until dinner. My kids are excited to have spaghetti but what they don't know is that I'm not cooking noodles.. I'm cooking a spaghetti squash instead. I'll have to let everyone know how that goes. I'm sure there will be some initial resistance but I'm hoping they come around pretty quickly.
I'm also trying to get ready for a super quick business trip I'm taking the end of the week to Ohio~ I get to see members of my team for my business plus get even more excited at what's to come this year!! I'm excited about this trip and nervous at the same time! I know it will all be okay!
Let's see what else is going on? As of today there are only 71 days until we go on our cruise. It's hard to get excited for that considering my hubby is still in Afghanistan.. I think once he's here it will be easier to get hyped for the cruise!
I guess that's really all the news on the home front here.. what are you doing for the super bowl??

Motivation

Motivation is required for so many things. I need lots of motivation for lots of different things. Sometimes my motivation has to be mental and sometimes it needs to be heard. Today I did something that required self-motivation which I thought I was lacking in. I surprised myself and got it done and did it with all the ability that I would have had if I was being motivated by someone else! So I'm sure you're dying to know what I did today.. Well good, because I'm going to tell you (I'd hate to disappoint).
So the beginning of the month I started a fitness boot camp and doing cross fit. I do boot camp on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and fill in on Tuesday and Thursday with cross fit. I love the feeling I get at the box (that's what you call a cross fit gym). The coaches and other boot campers and cross fitters are amazing with all the motivation that they give each other (including me). Well Last week on Friday we got Snow in Louisiana.. yup you heard me right, snow.. only down here they call it SNEAUX.. Haha!

So Friday we didn't get to do boot camp. Saturday the weather was bad still so I couldn't get to the box to make up my friday, so I ended up with rest on Friday, Saturday, Sunday (That's a LOT of rest days)- those 3 days were horrible.. I just wanted to sleep! Monday we were back at the box for Boot Camp (YAY) and we got in a great workout. BUT then on Tuesday, guess what happened? We got Sneaux again! Seriously- twice in 5 days.. what's going on?? Might be time to start stockpiling for the end of the world?

So we have a Facebook group for our boot campers so I said- can we have an at home WOD (Workout Of Day)and our coach gave us one.. it was a 20 minute AMRAP (As Many Reps As Possible)of 5 push ups, 10 sit ups and 15 air squats. Seems simple enough right? The hardest part was going to be getting out of my pajamas and getting dressed and ready to work out- so I did it, went upstairs and got ready just like I would if I were leaving to go to the box.. then I turned on some music on my computer turned the volume up set the timer on my phone and I did it! When I had moments or thoughts of quitting I kept telling myself that it was only 20 minutes and after the first two reps I decided that I wanted to get 12 good reps in- so I set a goal (hard to believe I would do that right?) and near the end when i was getting so tired that I was doing sit-ups in sets of 4, 3, 2, 1 to finish my dog got up off the couch and sat behind my computer and started barking at me. At first I wanted him to shut up but then I realized that in his own doggie way he was motivating me like a coach- encouraging me? Maybe? Telling me to hurry up? Maybe? Not sure what his deal was but when I finished with 11 + 15 (11 full reps and 15 parts- I did the 5 pushups and the 10 sit-ups of the last rep, but didn't finish the squats) and I laid on the floor done (with a touch of rug burn on my bum) my dog came by and licked my forehead and went back up on the couch. I facebooked my coaches this picture- to prove to them that I had done my workout:

And you know what? I felt so much better knowing that I motivated myself!!

Do you motivate yourself? How??

Things I miss..

When your hubby is deployed you miss a lot of things. Some things are very obvious, some things are things you don't think about until they are gone. I have quite an extensive list of things I miss..
Such as:
His socks on the floor.. Crazy I know makes me nuts when he's here, but I miss seeing them
Tripping over his boots.. yup another crazy one. Seeing those boots means everything is OK
His hugs.. No one hugs like he does..
His smell.. I was sleeping with his last shirt for a while but his smell is gone and cologne isn't cutting it anymore..
The smell in the bathroom after he showers- its a combination of soap, shampoo & shaving cream
Someone other than the dog stealing the covers (they are easier to get back from him than from the dog.. seriously)
GRILLED DINNERS.. my hubby is the Grill Master of this house.. I try but have no skills!
Having someone to talk to face to face- he's my best friend
His cleaning tendencies.. He likes to dust and do floors I do not.
Being able to pick up the phone and call him when I want
I miss finding his half drank cups of coffee all over the house- why he never finishes them I'll never know
I miss having to share the TV.. maybe.. ask me about this one when he gets home..lol
I miss other things that aren't blog-friendly too ;)

The longer we are apart the more things I find that I miss- I sure hope I don't have to wait too much longer before he's home.. Above all the other things.. I miss my husband. <3

Where you were..

Do you ever sit down on a particular day and think of where you were a year ago on that day? Or where you were 2 years ago on that day? 3 years? I could go on and on- most of us don't remember days unless something significant happens on those days- for example, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I have quite a list of important days that I keep in my memory- most are birthdays, one is my anniversary, one is the anniversary of when I started my home based business, one is the date our boys came home, one is the date that our adoption was finalized, and several are the dates that my husband either deployed or came home from a deployment- which very strangely has happened each time on another date that is significant (or the day before or after). Sometimes I sit down and I think where was I a year ago today- and I will actually pull out my calendar from last year- I keep them for a while after they are done- to see what I was doing on that day.. Today is Friday January 24. It's the eve of my business anniversary! Tomorrow I will have been in business for myself for 4 years!! Last year on January 24, I have written in my calendar: that's right NOTHING.. I must have been still using one of my other calendars when this one started in January of 2013. I do know where I was 4 years ago today- I was at a party at a friends house learning about the business I was about to join! I didn't hold much hope that it would be something that I did long term but I am so glad it turned out to be something so amazing!!
Some days when I think of where I was on that day I feel very bittersweet- April 7th is one of those days- that is the day our boys came to live with us. It's bittersweet because not only were our dreams of becoming parents becoming real, but somewhere out there a mother was losing her children. A Grandmother was losing her grandchildren. Aunts and Uncles were losing their nephews. Our family gained 2 beautiful toddler boys while one family somewhere else was losing theirs. I can't help but feel conflicted when this day rolls around. I alway stop and think about our boys' birth family.
Other days I feel nothing but pure joy when I think of where I was on that day how ever many years ago~ My anniversary- I still can't believe it's been over 17 years since a silly girl married a silly boy!! :D I for one don't feel old enough to have been married that long! LOL
Some days are just sad.. I remember where I was on September 11th (who in my generation doesn't?) I was in bed- we were stationed in Hawaii. Steve was in the field, and my friend, Kim called me to tell me to turn on the news- it was about 3 in the morning (maybe 4?) I sat in my bed terrified as I watched the horror of the day unfold.
I have a thing for numbers, so I guess it's only natural that I would remember where I was on certain days. How about you- do you remember where you were on certain days? <3

Making Changes & Being Free to Be ME!

So since 2014 began, I've been trying to make some small, subtle changes in my life that I'm hoping will make me a better person. I've first chosen to continue to see the positive in things and share my love with the world with those in my life. I'm trying to fill my life with people who see life the way I do and who are encouraging and supporting in a genuine manner. I think I've found those people, and I love them. <3 I've changed my lifestyle as far as how I treat my body. As much as I may gripe and complain of my injuries- It's really not complaining- I want you to notice what I've done and how hard I've worked for what I've done so far. The change may be minimal as far as looking at me right now- but I'm getting stronger every day and before you know it my body will conform. I am practicing "clean" eating and filling my body with the things that it needs in order to function well. I used to think I had to work out so that I can eat- but now I eat so that I can work out. (Fueling my body makes such a difference)... I try to focus on the things and people that I care about and worry and stress less about the things that don't matter.
It's weird to think that in just a mere 23 days I've made so many changes, some of them seem so small yet they are so significant. It's amazing what true, honest positivity can do for you.
**I've always been a lover and a helper to people. If you call me or tell me that you need me- I'll be there! This is something that I've often hidden from people in fear that it would be seen as a weakness. I may not have all the answers BUT I will sure try!!
**I've always seen the best in all situations- tomorrow is a snow day here.. everything is closing because of 1/4" of anticipated snow.. In Louisiana.. which means no school, no work for most people and NO GYM? GAH no Gym?? Okay so that makes me sad- because it is boot camp day.. BUT I can make my own workout- I think that I will do an AMRAP (for you non-crossfitters "As Many Reps As Possible") of sit ups, push ups, and maybe something else- I will have to scrounge.. maybe I can work on my double unders!! I have my rope and I have a cushioned mat i can jump on.. see the wheels are turning- just because I can't go to the gym doesn't mean I can't work out I just have to get creative! I wish I had a way to practice box jumps.. but that's something I could work on when my hubby gets home.
I hope all this makes sense and wasn't too boring.. <3 enjoy your weekend!!

Anticipation

I hate waiting.. I really do. I think I'm an an instant gratification kinda gal. I have so many things that I am waiting for right now, and I just want to wake up it be "THE DAY"... I seriously have countdown timers on my phone for them!! The first one is for a training convention trip where I will be reunited with my team (I really just sang in my head "Reunited and it feels so good"~ I may be delirious), that one is coming up pretty quick!! Little more than 2 weeks left! YAY! Here are some of the Beauts I will get to see!!

The next one isn't a specific date (as of yet) just a broad spectrum of time when my hubby could/should be home. For security purposes we won't know until right before he's coming that he's coming.. which stinks and is okay at the same time- I want him home safely so I don't mind the not knowing exactly, and it's less time to stress about having everything in it's place if you have to just scramble to get it done.. so for this reason, I don't mind waiting. :D So here's my love and I:

The last big thing coming up is we are taking our first Cruise. This one has a definite date in the spring- BUT I'm already on pinterest pinning ideas for outfits, and excursions, and photo ideas.. I'm such a dork! I can't wait to go to the Jungle and go snorkeling BUT hopefully most of all I can't wait to wear cute cruise outfits! I've been busting my hiney at the gym 5 days a week to try to get back into some sort of shape that isn't round.. lol I'm feeling stronger everyday so I will at least if not anything else be able to kick someone's ass if I need to during our cruise! LOL (Just kidding I'm a lover not a fighter- unless you have peanut m&m's because I'd fight you for them today)...

How patient are you when you are anticipating something??

The sweetest story.. (you might need tissues)

I want to tell you an incredible story- one that had I not known those involved, I might have thought was the object of someone’s imagination.

Not long after moving to New York, I met with a young lady about my business. She was interested in possibly starting one of her own so we met at a coffee chain to discuss the business and what it had to offer. I took her with me to see me work so that she could solidify her decision. In the end she decided my business wasn’t for her, but we kept in touch, mostly through Facebook. On the times that we had spent together in person, she shared with me a story that broke my heart. She told me that she had had a baby but that he was born with a condition called Trisomy 18 and lived for just 132 days. When she talked about her baby she got this amazing glow about her and I felt her pride for her son. When I got home that night I told my husband about her and her baby and I cried. No one should have to go through something like losing a child and my heart broke for her and her then boyfriend (the baby’s father).

During the rest of my time in New York we kept in touch mostly on Facebook, this girl was busy going to college, working and just being a young woman. I watched through the window of my computer as she and her boyfriend became engaged, and then as they married and started their life as husband and wife. I watched her go through the trials of trying to start a family and then deciding to “take some time off” during which she found out she was expecting again. I excitedly watched a video that she posted at her sons gravesite announcing that he was going to be a big brother and I cried like a baby out of excitement for her. I watched how terrified she was whether or not everything would go well with this pregnancy and anxiously awaited the days she went to the doctor when she would share her clean bills of health for both her and the baby. I was overjoyed when she found out that she was having a girl. Watching her go through everything she was going through made me wish that I was still in New York and that I could go over to her house and just hold her hand and tell her everything was going to be okay.

All the while I have known her, she has always fought to keep the memory of her son alive, not only for her, but also for everyone who knows her. This past Sunday night, she wrote on Facebook that 7 years ago on that date, she went into labor with her son. And that 7 years ago Monday, he was born, and she posted his birth stats and a picture of the most adorable boy with the biggest sweetest eyes! I posted Happy Birthday to him on the post and had a little twinge in my heart for her. Birthdays are supposed to be happy days, and I know she feels happy when she remembers him but that happy has to always be followed with the sad that he’s not here. When I woke up on Monday morning, the first thing that I see on Facebook is a picture of my friend in the hospital in labor. At first I thought it was from when she was in labor with her son, but wasn’t sure so I clicked on her profile and the post prior to that picture said “MY WATER JUST BROKE”… I was so excited/nervous/scared/happy/anxious for her that when I went to the gym that morning I checked my Facebook acct while on water breaks! I told other people at the gym her story. She had gone into labor on her son’s birthday!!
All day long I stalked her page, just waiting for an update, waiting to know that everything had gone well, that her daughter had made it safely into the world, but knowing that everything HAD to be okay, because after all this little sister has a big brother who is an angel. The day seemed to go so slow waiting for an update. Had one of her friends that was a amazing delivering updates as she got them from the husband. And then.. there it was a picture of a beautiful baby girl with the words I had waited all day to see! She had not only gone into labor, but had given birth on the same day 7 years apart. I feel that this was something that happened so that this day isn’t a day that is filled with bittersweet happiness, but so that it’s filled with immense happiness and joy as they not only celebrate the life that their daughter has, but the life that their son had as well.

I was so happy for this couple and their journey to parenthood again that I sobbed with excitement, relief, and pure joy for their newest member of their family. I am so grateful that I met this beautiful young lady and got to witness such an amazing story. I can’t wait to watch this baby girl blossom into a little girl. She’s going to be one lucky lady to have the mother she does.

Welcome to the World Arabelle Eve & Happy Birthday Dominic Matthew <3

Thank Goodness for..

Here are some of the things that I am most thankful for and why..
Pizza Mondays~ because my kids don't complain about what's for dinner
Technology~ for letting me have communication with my hubby while he's deployed
Facebook~for keeping me in contact with friends from across my life-
Friends~ for making life bearable
Family ~ for making life worth living
Dogs~ for unconditional love
Stories with happy endings~ for giving me Faith
Quiet~ for giving me solitude
Noise~ for making me feel alive
Wine~ for helping me relax
Exercise~ for making me feel strong
Water~ for keeping me hydrated
Goals~ for giving me a vision
Lists~ For organizing my goals
My Children~ for giving me purpose
My Gym Shoes~ for not making my feet hurt
My Blog~ For giving me an outlet

And that my friends is how I ramble <3

Cleaning Frenzy

I have to admit.. I don't like to clean.. but I don't like a dirty house, so I guess I just kind of suck it up and go with it. The last 2 weeks I have let my house get to a place of not-so-clean (not NASTY dirty- but a "crap I should vacuum kind of dirty).. It started with working out- I was sore- it took a lot of effort to even think about cleaning, much less wrangle the vacuum, or the dust rag, or even the broom (who knew?). I vowed this weekend I would get my house back in order.. so I started Saturday with the laundry baskets in front of the TV that had to be moved to use the remotes (it was easier to move them then to fold I guess?). So I got the laundry tackled and started on this weeks laundry, which by the way has been making it's way basket by basket to the closets and drawers where it belongs :D YAY! I also convinced one of the boys to dust (which was done half-heartedly but at least it's better than nothing, right?). I vacuumed the Living and Dining Rooms and swept and mopped the front hall. I pre-cooked some of my healthy meal components (sweet potatoes and chicken breast) and cleaned the downstairs bathroom. YAY! I worked on organizing my office and did a little bit of dusting in there. This morning when I got up I stripped my bed and brought down my linens and they are currently washing in my yummy washer whiffs!! YAY! I love when my bedding is clean. I will have to wash the dogs since Cope sleeps on my bed- and if he's not clean then what's the point of clean bedding because he will just stink it up. I've been a slacker and my laundry is still sitting in my room (don't tell my kids) and I need to vacuum my bedroom and then.. GUESS what?? My house will be clean again!!!YIPPEE!!!!
Now if I could just get this cleaning frenzy mode in my system every other day or get myself some sort of cleaning routine or ritual that would be amazing!! When i look around my house and it's needing some attention it makes me miss my hubby even more- he's like a cleaning savant.. seriously.. I can run to the gas station to buy him a 12-pack of beer and come home and my house is so clean it sparkles.. I don't know how he does it!! And the parts of cleaning that I hate- especially dusting- are his favorites to do! We were really meant to be together just because of that right?
The boys bathroom even got the scrub-down this morning!! They were kinda mouthy so I used the bathroom as a punishment- You want to be nasty to me?? Come clean your nasty bathroom.. I should have taken pictures- I had them scrub it down floor to ceiling! Hopefully that will make them think twice about being rude to me.. I hope.. or they will just have a really really really really clean bathroom!! I think this is the first time I used cleaning as a punishment- but I think I would totally do it again.. Especially in that bathroom- I have them clean it daily- and I go in and sweep/mop the floor and wipe down the counters etc. but 2 teen boys can WRECK a bathroom in no time.. and no mother of 2 teen boys should have to clean up their WRECK should she? I've thought about hiring a maid in the past but I'm always worried about what she'd tell me about that bathroom.. like she'll charge me triple or that I'd have to buy her a haz-mat suit before she'd go in there.. lol Anyone else have teen boys? Do your bathrooms get that gross or is it just my kids?? A lot of times I am scared to touch the things I find in there- and why is there always enough tooth paste in their sink that 3 families of 5 could brush their teeth after my kids are done? (I guess I should be glad they are brushing right?) Todays fun find was 14 bottles of soap/shampoo in their shower in various stages of use.. yes I said 14.. I only have 2 kids. 3 bottles were empty (why they don't throw them away I don't know) 3 were bottles that they say they didn't put in the shower (I didn't put them there either.. weird?) and 3 that were doubles of the same soap... so I weeded thru the bottles while they were cleaning the shower- and they now only have 5 bottles in there- 3 soaps (different scents of Axe) and 2 shampoos (again different scents of axe). Told them that when those bottles were empty to throw them away and when all the bottles were gone to get one of the ones from under the sink.. geesh you'd think that was common sense right? LOL
Well I just heard my dryer sing so I need to go fold another load of laundry- and be ready to wash the dog.. he's going to be so mad! LOL Have a great day!! <3

It's FRIDAY!!! YAY!!!

I'm excited that it's FINALLY FRIDAY!!! And I'm not quite sure why.. the only thing that changes on Saturday and Sunday is that I get to sleep about 45 minutes later than normal- meaning I get up at 630 instead of 545 (internal clock... yeah not my friend) And my kiddos are home for the weekend because they have no school- and they sleep until I wake them (one time I did an experiment to see how late they'd sleep.. 2pm. that's all day!!). I usually will wake them up about 930/1000- I get that they are boys and that they are growing (trust me my pantry shows me every day)so I do let them sleep pretty late- but I wake them up so that they get breakfast, lunch and dinner- if they sleep too late there is so much confusion on what they should/could eat.. like should they have breakfast at 11? then have lunch? when? So I wake them up before the "cut off" LOL I figure at 10 they still can eat breakfast and that they can have a later lunch at 1pm.. at least that's how I think of it! I don't have the gym on the weekends- but that doesn't mean that I'm sedentary.. there is a lot to get done at this house- ESPECIALLY after the busy week I've had this week.. We have vacuuming (anyone for aerobic vacuuming??) dusting, conquering Mt. Laundrymore, cleaning the bathrooms, sweeping, washing clothes (after Mt. Laundrymore is conquered? or during? or before?) I think, dare I say this out loud that it is time to clean out the garage and organize a yard sale.. I've only been saying that I was going to have a yard sale since I moved here in April.. I do know that I have a busy Friday already and my day is just starting.. instead of getting dressed for an early meeting I am blogging to the world.. I really should get my priorities straight!! Just Kidding.. I am actually waiting on said clothes to come out of the dryer! LOL (they're gym clothes- my meeting is thankfully very informal and I can show up ready to rock the gym (as long as I smell good) and no one will mind!! I do know this though- I am running late.. and for me that's a very infrequent occurrence.. I am usually early to EVERYTHING.. but lately I've been getting very bad about running late.. usually only a few minutes- but still not normal for me.. I hope everyone has a GREAT Friday and that you enjoy your weekend!! <3

Push it to the Limit

So I like to push things to the limit when I'm passionate about them. Sometimes this is great but sometimes this can mean HUGE problems. Take for example- the first time my hubby ever deployed we had just bought a house- closed in early October and he left December 2nd of the same year. So I decided that while he was gone I was going to remodel/redecorate our house. It was for 2 reasons- 1st it was the first house that we had ever owned a house which meant that I had permission from MYSELF to do whatever I wanted to this house and 2nd it would keep me busy. So I had some friends who would come over and help or paint when I painted (I painted EVERY room in our 4 bedroom 1700 sq foot house except 1). I started in the upstairs, that was what our kids called "Man Land" Both boys had a bedroom up there, and there was a bathroom and then a huge bonus room in between their rooms which we made into a "living room" for the kids.. Our bedroom was downstairs, so the boys had free roam of the upstairs! I let both boys pick their "theme" and then just went with it.. Oh T, you want a dinosaur room? Okay, Let me take it to the limit and find only a bazillion dinosaur themed things for your room! Oh, N, you want an army room? Okay- lets find you some awesome Ammo Crates and camouflage bedding and we will take this theme to the limit!! When I say I took it to the limit- I mean dinosaurs were on the closet knobs, and the ceiling fan for N's room had a propeller-esque look to it. If it didn't match your theme it couldn't be left out when you cleaned your room either! I also while my hubs was deployed removed the entire landscaping from the front of our house and re-did it all with the help of some amazing friends and their kids!! Who knew the best way to move pea gravel (what was I thinking with rocks and 2 small boys??) was with your kids and your friends' kids and beach buckets!! We pushed it to the limit and got it all accomplished in just one day! So those are all GREAT examples of pushing it to the limit. Recently, on the day that the hubs left to deploy I had a moment of INSANITY.. where I once again pushed myself to the limit.. the day he left was supposed to be the day that I left to go to a convention for my business. Well with the flight dates ever changing as we waited for him to go, My trip was put in "Limbo" one day I was going, the next I was not.. so the day that he left was my "last chance" to go if I was going. I had already paid to go, so we took him to the drop off point, said our good-byes and I drove for 2 days to Indianapolis, all the while crying because he had left. Most of the pictures from that road trip I have my sunglasses on to hide my puffy eyes!! I was so exhausted when that trip was over because I pushed my self emotionally to the limit. Lately the limit that I've been pushing is my physical limit.. I have mentioned it before, but I joined a cross fit gym- It's probably my favorite place to be lately. HOWEVER yesterday I found out that I've pushed myself to the limit.. I didn't break- but I had the worst leg cramps in my life!! it was horrible.. So to combat an electrolyte depletion I am drinking that pedialyte stuff they make for babies.. and let me tell you- when your baby cries and won't drink it- know this- that stuff is NASTY.. GROSS... HIDEOUS... it tastes like thick salty water with some fruit flavoring in it.. seriously.. GROSS.. I drank 2 full bottles yesterday and am supposed to drink 2 more today.. why haven't they made electrolytes in a pill form? I'd be okay with that.. lol If anyone has given this to their kids and has a magic way to make it better (other than it being Ice Cold) please please please share!!! I'd so appreciate it!!

But really, I don't like Kool-aid!!

Growing up as a kid in our house we drank Kool-Aid.. Grape was my favorite and in pictures of my childhood I often had a "Kool-Aid Mustache". When I got older we were allowed to drink tea and eventually Kool-Aid faded from my list of things that I liked to drink. But here lately I have heard myself proclaim that I've drank some pretty awesome Kool-Aids.. I know it's just an expression but still.. Right now I'm drinking from 2 different Kool-Aids.. The first, and the one I've been drinking the longest (almost 4 years) is for my business. I sell products for a home based business and lets just say that this Kool-Aid is purple and has some stars in it! It's the best Kool-Aid ever- joining this business was one of the most amazing decisions that I've made in my life. I've met so many wonderful people and have had the chance to travel to places that I most likely wouldn't have gone without it. I've also grown a team of consultants under me who I get to mentor and call my team (They mean so much more to me than just a team though). Even though I don't partake in the drinking of the sugar sweetened, artificially flavored beverage, I still proudly proclaim that "I drank the Purple Kool-Aid" (I even have a Shirt that says so!!). Lately I've dipped into another hypothetical pitcher of Kool-Aid. I'm not sure what color this Kool-Aid is, but I know that once I "drank" some I wanted more.. craved more, needed more, not sure which would apply to it, but it's (You probably guessed if we are friends on Facebook) Cross-Fit.. more specifically, the Cross fit gym that I belong to.. I've never had a gym feel like "home" or been a place that I was excited to go to each day. It's really crazy! But every day I get dressed to go without even thinking about getting dressed.. I get my things that I need for the gym ready while I'm still waking up- almost in a zombie-like trance. Even if I was considering not going- if I look around I notice that everything is ready for me to go. Once I get there, everybody knows your name (Yeah you just sang the Cheers! Theme song didn't you.. it's ok I did too!) Everybody cheers you on- it's not competitive (only against the clock) and if you need that extra push or slap in the ass to get moving they will make sure you get it! When you are completely exhausted and can only lay on the ground taking the deepest breaths of your life everyone comes by and tells you how awesome you did! Sometimes you get high-fives and sometimes you can't lift your arms to five back so you do what my friend Jessica does, and T-Rex it.. Yes that's her phrase- make sure you give her credit if you use it!! But most of all no matter how crappy you think you feel when you get there all of a sudden you look at the white board and all the crappiness goes away! (Now mind you I haven't yet seen the white board today, so I may have to re-think that statement later today). Oh yeah and along with both of these Kool-Aids came new acronyms that I learned.. (I'm not going to lie, I had to google what an AMRAP was, and ask what an EMOM was.. but Hey, I'm still new at this right?) What Kool-Aid have you drank?? Hypothetically speaking..

Manic Tuesday?

You know there's a song out there about how Mondays are crazy.. but no one ever wrote a song about a crazy Tuesday.. Wonder why not.. Some of us have just as crazy of a Tuesday as the Monday. What would this song say?? Maybe it shouldn't be Manic Tuesday but rather Traumatic Tuesday? Oh yeah lets go with that one!! Today was a Traumatic Tuesday for sure! Lots to do and no energy to really do it. I made my list and got some of the things crossed off but still feel like I didn't accomplish much.. I did make it to the gym, I got a shower (always a plus) got some laundry done, FINALLY took down my Christmas Lights (was probably about time) And I made it to the post office! (Sorry to anyone who has been waiting for something from me!!) But yet I feel like I didn't get anything really accomplished. Days like this are when I wish I had a housekeeper or a personal assistant.. wouldn't that be nice? I did however make the last payment on our cruise, so I suppose I did get lots more than I thought I did done.. but still not liking the feeling of not being "done". I think tomorrow will be a wicked Wednesday because I have an event that I help coordinate on Thursday and I have a ton of stuff to finish for that. I'm hoping after this event that things will settle down and I will be able to get some of the things on my daily lists done. (And yes I said listS with an S..) How do you find the energy to get everything done that you want to get done???

Spelling Nazis

Okay people I hope this doesn't offend anyone.. but I have to get it off my chest!!! Social media is the worst thing to EVER happen to spelling! Sometimes I cringe when scrolling through Facebook because I see these crazy little spelling errors that completely change the context of what someone is saying, and the bad thing is they don't even know it!! So where did this all start? I think it started with the pager.. some of you may be too young to know what a pager is, so here's what they looked like:

How a pager worked was someone called it and input the number they wanted you to call back. But sometimes people didn't want you to call back or you weren't able to call back- so a code system evolved- 143 meant I love you, friends would assign themselves a numerical code so if you wanted to tell your love that you loved them you would page them your code followed by * and the code 143. Anyway- after the pager evolved a little they got bigger screens and you could add more info to them- you could repeatedly push a number until you got the correct letter, similar to old cell phones where the number 2 stood for ABC and of course 2. But you only had a certain number of characters to use so people began creating word "shortcuts" which was actually just bad spelling. Cell phones and texting just added to the spelling debacle.. it is just easier to text someone OMW instead of On My Way (especially those people who text and drive!) Or OMG instead of Oh My Gosh.. I'm guilty of using the acronyms too because it does make it faster, and frankly they've become part of my language (which I find extremely disheartening). But on Facebook when I'm scrolling through posts and I see something crazy- usually involving the Big Two I cringe. What is the Big Two you're probably asking.. the Big Two that I see the MOST errors with every day are Your, You're and Their, There, They're.. when people use them wrong in a sentence it COMPLETELY changes the meaning.. for example: You're mother is their aunt sue! This one makes me say out loud so instead of a friend telling me that my mom is somewhere, I'm now the mother and our family just became incestuous.. and my name is Sue? How it should have been written is "Your mother is there Aunt Sue!!" Meaning that Sue's mom was somewhere and the person writing is Sue's niece or nephew. I get sometimes you are typing in a hurry and you misspell a word- sometimes you catch it and sometimes you don't. Autocorrect is great at changing what you say- there are some great websites for "Autocorrect Fails" my favorite is when someone texted about their pen running out of ink.. the text that they sent said "My penis out!" instead of "My Pen is out" oops! Now someone thinks that someone else is showing their business somewhere.. probably at school! Hopefully no teachers saw that! I know that as a society we are becoming more and more dependent on technology, but technology isn't always your friend. I have an iPhone and Siri is a lifesaver sometimes, but when I need her to text someone she usually causes an epic failure.. sometimes I am doing something where I can't read what she wrote for me and I send it, and then when I get to read it, I think to myself (sometimes out loud) what the heck? For example, I was texting my sister before Christmas about her taking my gifts to my Mom & Stepdad and whether or not there was a Cheesecake Factory near my Dad & Stepmom and this is what Siri thought I said:

I promise you I know I have an accent, but I know I didn't ever say the word Houston in that conversation! If I hadn't looked and had just sent that text my sister would have thought I had lost my mind! So the moral of the story is to look at what you type before you hit enter or send and make sure that you've spelled words correctly- it could be the difference between you're death and your death... <3 PS.. I just thought of another big time wrong word used word! Brake and Break!! I hope that I never BREAK hard when I'm driving. or that I need BRAKE your dishes.. lol

Drama Rama Llama?

This post probably won't be what you really think it is going to be about.. and shame on you thinking I would air my dirty laundry on my blog!! LOL J/K. :) So I hate drama in my life.. BUT I love to be "in" or know about someone else's .. I know that doesn't make me a drama queen.. but more like the drama witness? BUT when my friends and family hurt it hurts me, so I've learned over the years that Reality TV is a GREAT replacement, because a. I don't know them b. I can change the channel if it's too much and c. because it's usually been cleverly portrayed.. That being said some of the shows that are coming out lately are more than crazy.. I like to watch ones that have real life reality. Things that could happen to me or my friends- so the shows about millionaires aren't that interesting.. sorry rich people.. your "problems" in life over which designer shoe to wear or what celebrity isn't going to show up at your next house party.. Some of the shows have no correlation to my life but I watch them out of pure curiosity.. for example the shows about different faiths or shows about people who live in a city.. I will most likely never live downtown in a big city- so I like to see what their life is like, how is it different than mine.. (mostly they walk a lot! LOL). I watch shows about "dirty" people so that I will feel inspired to clean my house (this is so true- if you are on a reality show and your house is NASTY I will clean house while I watch- haha) Some reality shows make me cry because their struggles are near and dear to my heart or ones that I have been through myself. What does the Llama have to do with anything? Nothing at all other than it Rhymed!! I'm hoping that one day I will look back at some of the shows that I watched and realize that I learned something and that the time that the boob tube was on wasn't a complete waste of electricity.. I can tell you for sure the shows that were an epic failure had to do with coupons and stockpiling things.. things that when I moved I had to give away!! LOL I probably didn't learn much from the show about kids who do pageants.. other than if I ever had a daughter I don't think we'd do pageants.. I guess to each their own right? So what do you think about Reality Tv?? Do you watch it?? Have you ever learned anything from it?? Oh I did watch a bar show once and learned how to make an awesome drink! :) haha!!

Fears

I know that people are afraid of things, and that's normal. I also know that some people have irrational fears of things as well. I want to chat tonight about some of my fears or phobias if you will.. some of them are normal and some are just a bit silly.. I am afraid of snakes.. to the point that they make me want to pee my pants out of fear.. I haven't always been afraid of snakes, it started after we moved back to the mainland after living in Hawaii (where there are no snakes) when we came back I was extremely nervous of seeing a snake in my yard to the point if the grass moved in the wind I would freak out a little. The reptile room in the zoo is always a feat.. My kids think this is hilarious.. me not so much. I'm afraid of bridges. Not little foot bridges over a small ditch but the kind you drive your car over.. and it's not driving over the bridges, it's when you stop on the bridge and you can feel it move from the opposing traffic. That terrifies me.. to the point that I've cried on a bridge, threatened to get out of the car and walk to the other side.. (YES I HAVE... lol). I am afraid of failure (who isn't?) And last night I found out that I am afraid of a box.. not just any box but a wooden box.. in a gym that you jump onto. I was afraid of jumping up on that box to the point that I cried in the gym because I was so intimidated.. This is what that darn box looks like:

It's cute isn't it? BUT Jumping from the floor up to the short side (20") of this box intimidated me to the point of tears.. BUT I don't want to be afraid of this box, but I am afraid of it. I've decided that for the next week I am going to make friends with this box I'm going to love it to the point that it will let me jump up on it. :D That's my plan!! So tell me.. what are you afraid of? Do you have a plan to work on your fear??

I've missed a few days....

I want to be sure that I blog at least 3 times a week! Sorry it's been a few days! This week has been absolutely insane! I love the insanity though because that means I'm busy and when you're busy time goes fast and when your husband is deployed you want time to go by fast so that he is home faster.. see the cycle there? So let me fill you in... I started working out this week- I started a boot camp that meets M/W/F and I also am doing an introduction to cross fit class that is every evening.. so after tonights workout I will have had 8 workouts in 5 days.. this is from someone who last week wasn't working out at all. The first few days I will not lie were a little miserable (not the working out) I was so sore!! Using the restroom was difficult because it was hard to sit down. Walking down the stairs was the 2nd worst thing.. BUT after Wednesday it got better. I'm still sore- don't get me wrong but I can sit down on the toilet with less issues and coming down the stairs isn't as bad. I'm excited to see how this changes my life. I am taking it day by day, week by week, month by month. My mantra in my head when my body is trying to give out on me, is "You did this to yourself, you have to fix it by yourself" (meaning I let myself get fat and out of shape..) It's true, so I just have to make my head tell my body to suck it up.. Sorry this is such a short post but I need to clean my house that has been neglected for the last week! :)

Being a list maker....

One of my quirkiest personality traits is that I make lists.. lots of lists: Grocery lists (most people do), To do lists (again most people do), Packing lists (you've done this one too haven't you?) Guest lists, lists for places I'm going when I go shopping, the list of my lists could go on and on. I write lists on regular paper, pretty note pads, post it notes (my favorite). BUT the lists that I am most proud of come when I travel. Yes I just admitted I am proud of my lists and I'll tell you why in a minute!! When I travel I create a packing list for myself and then one for each of my kids. My hubby is on his own (he won't let me pack for him and his packing is just throwing stuff into a backpack or duffle- totally not what I would do but somehow this works for him) I also create a hygiene bag packing list, a things to do list, a list of things to keep kids/self entertained during travel, a list of things to pack with the dogs for the kennel, and a list of things to do in the house before we leave. Then each of those lists are numbered and a "Master List" is created. The lists that are mine only are stapled to the Master list and I give the boys each their lists and they bring me the items listed. It works out great for me because I know everything gets packed and that I've not forgotten anything (The entire time the hubs is standing there just watching me shaking his head) If I don't make a list I have an anxiety attack about not having a list. If I forget my list for groceries and go into the store I can't seem to figure out what I am supposed to be getting.. I get the same things most weeks so I don't know why my brain shuts down about a list. But I like my lists. Not only do they tell me what I want/need but they let other people know as well. The reason I wrote about lists today is for the last couple of years I've been finding that my youngest son, T, has become a list maker! He writes lists and does what I do- Sticks them where he will see them when he needs them. He usually tapes them to the inside of my front door. Sometimes he writes a note to remind himself to pack a lunch, or to remind himself to do something (there used to be post it notes on the bathroom mirror saying brush teeth put on deodorant wash face. He even makes lists to tell himself where he left something.. lol

That note is one of my favorites, because not only did he write himself a note about where his shoes were (they had been washed) but he wrote it on one of my menu planning pages! I should apologize to his future wife.. I'm sorry he's so OCD.. It's my fault- he's been making lists since he could write- He once wrote a list about what he wanted to see at the zoo. When I ask him why he makes lists his answer is spot on what I tell people, "It makes everything easier". And they do! I know what needs to happen what I need etc as soon as I look at one of my lists! Do you make lists? I read a book once that was supposed to help you not procrastinate as much and one of the first things they said was to make lists for the things you need to do and then make a master list of your lists- I was so excited that I stopped reading the book to make my lists!! I should probably write on one of my lists to finish that book! Ha! Now I must go make my today's To-Do list!! :) Have a great day!

Getting Fit?

Getting fit (or trying to) isn't something that is new to me.. Battling Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome I have had to constantly had to battle my weight. Recently after our move to Louisiana I found out that there is a cross fit gym here, and almost everyone I met was a member of this gym.. At first I was like there is no way that I can do this.. and then I started talking to all of the friends I knew who were members and they told me that they all started where I did.. by joining.. They gave me the confidence to consider and finally commit to doing it. And I'm starting off with a bang.. I am doing a 6 week fitness boot camp and my introduction to cross fit class for the first week. So the first week I will be working out a LOT.. I'm hoping I survive!! If you work out a lot or are a fit person- please feel free to leave me some comments with some well wishes!! If I don't post a lot next week it's just because I can't move my arms enough to type.. GAH! ~

word vomit

This is something I know we are all guilty of.. I call it word vomit.. you open your mouth and things just spill out- sometimes things you don't mean- sometimes things that are insensitive and sometimes some people don't even know that they are doing it! I'm guilty of it- I'm sure everyone is in some way. My worst vomits are when I'm angry or yelling at the boys for something. When I'm yelling at the boys sometimes my mother comes out.. yes, my mom.. I say things that she said when we were kids that I swore I'd never say to my kids- I immediately try to retract them, but once you've vomited words it's very hard to clean them up.. Here's an example I used to hate when I was a kid and my mom would say "I know you're smarter than that".. so last week N was washing dishes and dumped an entire pot of water all over the floor.. what did I say "Seriously, you're smarter than that" ... yes- vomited my mom out! Or this one time I referred to a friend's husband as a stripper.. yes, I talked without thinking- or word vomited.. (you'd have to hear the whole story to understand I DO NOT go around calling people strippers, EVER.. it was a very contextual thing. Promise! Sometimes people word vomit at me and I used to sit there and absorb it and think wow that was insensitive but as I've grown older, I mean up, I've learned that sometimes they don't mean it to be insensitive. Sometimes it is just innate curiosity. (Which I used to consider nosiness). For example when people find out your kids are adopted- they want to know why did you adopt. For those of us who have adopted sometimes this comes off kinda nosy.. I want to reply- well why did you breed? BUT I understand that people are curious so I'll tell them that I have a medical condition that wouldn't allow me to get pregnant. When they meet my boys, if they know they are adopted they'll say "are they brothers?" duh- I'm their mom, hubby is their dad so yes.. in any context they would be brothers. I know they want to know if they are biological brothers which they are so I will explain, but here's the kicker- someone always always asks me if they have the same biological fathers.. Since I didn't know their birth mom I have no idea- only she does. All that matters to me is that they are my sons. Some of those questions aren't meant to shock, or hurt but sometimes there is a little sting to them- like when you are in a social situation and everyone is asking how big each other's babies were when they were born- when they get to me I'm like N was 40lbs 40 inches and T was 35 inches and 20lbs.. they're always like "what?" and they look confused, but their birthweight isn't listed on their birth certificates and since they were adopted when they were toddlers/preschoolers I have no idea how big they were at birth. I try to avoid those conversations though because all of a sudden the spotlight shifts to me and all of the vomit-questions come out. Don't get me wrong- I'm not ashamed that my boys are adopted, not at all. I used to be ashamed that my body didn't function like it was designed to, but I'm over that. It's just once people find out that they are that's when the questions start, and sometimes I just don't want to explain it all.. lol. What's the best way to clean up word vomit? I would say not to vomit at all- and I'm working hard on controlling mine- next time N spills an entire pot of water on the floor maybe I'll be witty and say something like "Yay you're mopping!!" or something equally as funny (maybe to me- he won't appreciate my humor) Since I start working out next week I'm sure though that I'm bound to word vomit something at least once a day.. but I'm going to try not to! Wish me Luck~

Teenagers.. eh

I'm not sure how I ended up being a mom of teenagers. I mean I know it was inevitable that it would happen... one day... but not now. This I am NOT ready for. No one decides to become parents and says I can't wait until I have teenagers! (And if they do, I'd like to meet them!) We were fast-forwarded just a little bit because N & T (our sons) are adopted. They were a sibling adoption and they were older- N was 47 months old and T was 28 months old. So they had a headstart on my being a parent of a teen. This past December T turned 13, N is already 14 (almost 15) but going from one angsty teen to two wasn't easy. And because they are boys, I can't really relate to their "issues". Top it off that hubby is in Afghanistan for a little longer and it makes for a tossed salad of Teen Angst. I love my boys, I really do but some days I am so sure that if I were a wild animal of some sort I would have eaten them for the way they act. (I'm not sure what animals eat their young and I'm pretty sure they do it when they are newborns, but I think they do so because they know what they might be in for later.. that's my story and I'm sticking to it!). I also grew up with sisters. I know girls, I am a girl so girls are "normal" to me. Of course we get grouchy and moody, but we get a period so it's expected. That would have been expected if I had girls. But I don't. I have boys. But guess what ladies and gentlemen.. boys get mood swings too! And because they don't get a period it's impossible to predict when these swings will happen... And then if you're like when they do happen, you are completely bewildered. What just happened? I probably should track them and see if they happen around the same time of the month but that might be weird. The things that confuse me the most are: 1. The amount of food they can consume (don't worry $400 in groceries will last about 4 days if you are lucky) 2. The length of time in the shower (I don't want to know why.. I keep telling myself I don't want to know) 3. The amount of time they are sedentary .. sometimes I wonder if they are still breathing.. and yes, I check. 4. The amount of time they sleep.. I'm not sure I could sleep 12 hours a day and STILL BE TIRED.. but they do.. and they are! Right now as I write this it is 1020 am and they are still sleeping.. we went to bed at 10pm last night.. I've been up for hours. The whole sleep dilemma comes with the question- should you wake them? I asked once on Facebook and I got a variety of answers (some were funny lol). Also my other biggest dilemma is our electronic society. Right now my boys aren't allowed to play xbox (school comes first) and neither have a Facebook account but the don't verbally communicate with anyone- it's all texting (and if you have never read your children's texts you should. Be sure to have some sort of interpreter though- it's a whole different language) why don't kids talk to each other face to face anymore? We were out at a football game once and my boys were sitting higher up in the stadium than I was and they were texting me to ask me questions, and texting each other... I don't get that.. doesn't make one lick of sense. I suppose the good part about them being teenagers is that they are hopefully almost back to being close. They used to be close when they first came home.. then we moved and they did nothing but fight.. now they fight less but still aren't quite back to being as close as they used to but I'm hopeful that it will happen. And I guess I better get used to being the mom of teens because before I know it they will be in college, and grown, and married and I will be writing a blog about being the grandmother of teens.... oh why did I just write that? I hope that is a long long way off! Oh I hear them waking up! 1030!!

Working from Home

Some people leave their house to go to work- they set an alarm, get up, shower and get dressed have coffee and leave their house at a regularly scheduled time and return home later in the day at a different, regularly scheduled time. I envy those people… for real. They know what they have to do every single day- they know that on Monday Morning they have to go to work and what they have to do at their job. They have a schedule and a routine. I'm different. I work from home. Don't get me wrong I LOVE what I do- I love my job and I wouldn't trade it for anything. BUT I crave routines, schedules, plans, lists etc. (I'm a tad OCD- did you figure that out?) I try to create a schedule/routine/plan and list for my day-to-day life but I get distracted really easily (add in some ADD, maybe?) and if someone calls me and asks me to go to coffee or lunch on a day when I'm supposed to be working really hard at organizing my office, I will totally blow off what I was doing to be social! Then I come home and look at the disaster that is my office (no it's never all the way clean- ever..). Would my house be cleaner if I had a 9-5 M-F job? Maybe.. because I wouldn't be here trying to organize in a better way (all the while creating a bigger mess) But would I love what I do? Because doing what I do from home I love. I love the products, I love the company, I love my team, I love other consultants… And it makes me happy doing it… SO I know that I will always stick with what I'm doing- just wish sometimes that I could leave my house daily to do my work. And this makes me think that when we create our "Forever" House I will have an office built in my backyard so that every day I can leave my house and go to work- even if it's just 20 feet from the back door. In this Office outside my house I will have a dedicated phone line, and my entire mess of a business will be kept out there, outside of public view… I think of it as a quaint little cottage like this:

Or maybe this:

I can picture it now- I would go to work everyday come home for lunch and go back to work and come home to start dinner for my family… It would be perfect! That's something to look forward to in the future. For now goals that I want to focus on are getting a schedule of some sort going and keeping to it.. not getting distracted and not being interrupted.. that's what I need to do. So next week when you get up and get ready for work think of me and hope for my sake that I do my job and work my business the way that I need to.. and if you want to call me and complain about going to work- please do~ I promise that I'll listen objectively! <3

Resolutions Smesolutions

So every year most of us (probably mostly women) make a list of "resolutions" to keep in the new year- mine usually looks a lot like this: *Lose Weight *Save Money *Pay Off Bills *Spend more time with the kids And after about 30 days (if I'm lucky) they've all faded to the background and life goes on.. So a few years ago when I started my business I chatted with a friend about creating a dream board of all the things I hoped to accomplish- and I realized that setting goals instead of resolutions was so much easier and achievable! So for the last few years I have created annual dream boards- I reflect on them in December and then I work on the new one on New Year's Eve.

This is my 2014 Dream Board Its full of personal goals, business goals, family goals and financial goals. Some of the goals are already in effect- such as going to spring sprint, going on a cruise, and Saving for retirement. I've also signed up for a fitness boot camp and joined the local cross fit gym so hopefully getting healthy will come along easily! How do you set goals for yourself??